| “ | Me, Le Jaguar? Preposterous! Perhaps if the police weren't such bumbling fools they'd be able to catch this man and clear my good name. | „ |
| ~ De La Croix on the allegations of him being Le Jaguar |
Raphael De La Croix, also known as Le Jaguar, is the main antagonist of the The Onion skit, Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Jewel Heist.
He is a talented fencer who's been seeped in controversy due to committing multiple thefts across the world. He's a parody of how sports federations often don't do enough to punish athletes when they get into trouble, but highly exaggerated.
What Makes Them Magnificent?[]
- He's a hilarious parody of controversial athletes, exaggerated by embodying the archetypical gentleman thief.
- He's shown to be quite the ladies' man as his hobby is giving roses to young, widowed socialites who attend his fencing matches.
- He stole the Monaco diamond and slipped away by dropping a chandelier on the museum guards and tying them up.
- When the police stopped his car during a routine stop, they found a priceless Rembrandt that De La Croix stole from the Louvre. However, he managed to get away with only a fine by saying that it belonged to a friend.
- In his most impressive feat, within a single week, he seduced, married, and divorced the wealthy aristocrat Countess Stephenia Isabella de Uster of Switzerland. By doing this, he gained access to $50 million in Nazi gold and a locket owned by Catherine the Great, both of which he managed to slip away with. The Countess later states that she still loves Le Jaguar and forgives him for his transgressions.
- It's worth noting that $50 million in gold would weight around 1,369 lbs (620.8 kg), which makes it all the more impressive that he stole all of that gold so quickly.
- While Reggie Greengrass does say that he intends to take Le Jaguar down, it's unclear if he was successful. This effectively makes De La Croix a Karma Houdini.
What Makes Them a Baddie?[]
- He's a notorious international thief who has no qualms about harming people who get in his way, such as the innocent guards he dropped the chandelier on or the Countess whom he manipulated to get to her riches.
- He's implied to be a serial killer as the reporter suggests that he's the reason why all the widows he gives roses to are widowed in the first place.
Trivia[]
- Raphael De La Croix is the only character from The Onion to be a MB.